the livejournal of senor smitten. View: User Info. View: Friends. View: Calendar. View: Website (Obligatory Myspace profile link). View: Memories. You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.

Friday, March 7th, 2008

Time: 9:17 pm. Mood: drunk. Music: Chris Brown ft. T-Pain - Kiss Kiss.

Just a few quick details: Went skydivin' with my grandma last sunday, went amazingly well. Should have a youtube and a buncha pics to upload when i finish some video editing. Currently obsessed with "Chris Brown ft. T-Pain" - Kiss Kiss, hip-hop dancing (I can now do Crank Dat Soulja Boy, Crank Dat Spiderman, Walk It Out, and some basic Krumpin'), and Shepard Fairy: I've been ebaying some of the affordable ones, until I can get a nice copy of the "Rise Above" fist and cop. I've been at a BBQ since 4, had a few beers before I left... was buzzin' when beer pong, flip cup and jello shots came into the picture. Soon, the bar. Sayin'.

2 blow jobs | blow me.

Time: 11:31 am. Mood: accomplished. Music: Nikkie Costa - Everybodies got their something.

Through the usual insanity that is my life, I managed to drive to and from Long Island Saturday Night/Sunday Morning and then drive back down to Purchase/Rye area for Father's day. Originally I'd intended to just catch that destination on my return trip from LI, but things changed and I ended up in the car for roughly 6.5 hours overall, constituting 4 trips. This is only significant in the fact that all this time in the car alone, combined with the events of the weekend, led to a lot of a time to think. I have to say that my cousins are some of the most adorable kids, ever. As soon as I arrived to my uncle's yesterday, Kayla was coming out of the garage and proclaimed, "Austin is here!!!" and ran over to me as I exited the car. As I picked her up, asking for a hug and a kiss, she refused both. "Is Tiana coming too??", she asked excitedly. "No, she's in the Hamptons and can't make it back today. It's just me." I replied. "Oh, ok.", she said, as she gave me the hug and kiss she'd denied seconds before. It was the usual Father's Day at Brett's place; everyone was catching up with one another, enjoying the food and family. My grandmother asked me right away if I was going to come skydiving with her, and I excitedly agreed. Apparently, since we mentioned her taking a ride on my motorcycle she'd been thinking that she wanting to do something exciting for her birthday. She's checking out a few places locally to do it, and already has a sizable group to go with her. I told her that if I enjoyed it enough I would be going every year for my birthday, at least. This lead to a long, and really great/interesting conversation where she explained how she had taken a few pilot's lessons and was regretting not finishing them years ago, especially for the cost. I spent a good hour, while we ate, talking to my Aunt Colleen and some of my other cousins (David, Danielle and Chris) about Lacrosse and their involvement in school sports. We've all now realized that it's become the family sport, spanning 3 generations at this point and probably continuing on their end, as well as mine. It was fantastic, listening to them describe Coach Malet as "Biggie Smalls, because he has one big leg and one small one." I promised that I would start coming to games in the coming times, even practices when I could. At one point, Kayla came over and was bopping me with a foam covered bat. I finally told her to stop, and when she wouldn't, I took the bat from her and wouldn't return it. When I felt it'd been long enough, and she asked for it again, I made sure she wouldn't hit me again and returned it. I've decided, also, that I want to take all of my little cousins down to a Yankee game this summer. I'm going to ask my aunt to take her caravan down, or I may rent one, so that I can fit all the rugrats in there. I said my goodbyes to everyone, letting the kids know I'd find a good Saturday game soon and we'd all go to that one, which they were happy enough about. On my way out, Kayla ran up and jumped into my arms. First she apologized, with the most adorable face, for hitting me with the bat. The conversation went something like this: K: I'm really sorry for hitting you with the bat. A: Well, do you understand why I was mad and took it away? K: Yes, you told me to stop and I didn't. A: Ok, so now you'll listen if I tell you something? K: Yes, I'm sorry I didn't listen before, Austin. Let me clarify that she is probably 5 or 6 at this point? I'm terrible with ages, but it was absolutely adorable. THEN, she won't let go of me and she keeps giving me kisses on the cheek, over and over and over. After I said, "One more!" and went to put her down, she made me give her another hug and kiss before I could leave. I melted. Anyway, the overall point of all of this is that it really put my life into perspective. I realized that the issue I was having in life is that I'm in a completely different place than my friends... the local ones at least. Basically, even the older friends of mine, are still working at jobs that they hate, and still not sure where things are going. Granted, I only know basics for them, because their plans are their own, but still. I have a career that I love, with a bright future ahead. I have plans that are slowly being put in motion, to get my condo/townhouse. Overall, it boils down to the fact that I've outgrown a lot of the things people do, and the attitudes they have about things. They have not, or if they have, they've also moved away to facilitate these ideas. My priorities just need to be re-evaluated more often than I've been doing in the past. I have to remember what, and more importantly WHO, is important in my life. I also need to simply remove a few things and people from my life. Toxicity is unnecessary.

blow me.

Subject: Possibly a real update? Mayhaps? Time: 10:48 am. Mood: tired. Music: WFAN - New York.

What to say, what to say... So much has gone on, but at the same time, so little has happened. Confused? Exactly. Hmm, well I'm still eating fairly healthy and trying to keep up with the gym. The food part is pretty easy, I've basically stuck to my usual, adding in a few cheats/treats here and there... I still let myself enjoy whatever I want when I go out to dinner, though I'm more conscious of what I choose nowadays. I'd be devoting more time to the gym if work wasn't so crazy lately, usually 3 days a week I'm working until 6-7pm, which is actually fine. I've been fairly exhausted lately, what with work, pool league and some sort of social life. Tuesday and Sunday nights is when I shoot pool for two seperate teams. I don't mind my tuesday league, but it seems less laid back and more stressful than my sunday league. On that same note, last night was a home game (every team has a home bar) and I finally met another member of the team, Betsy. Betsy, while being quite fun and attractive, was totally blitzed when she arrived. What gave it away was one of those "too long" handshakes... You know the one, it starts off firm and normal and then lingers into excess and a limp hand. In the end, the other team forfeited and we won, but instead of being 11-12pm like usual, it was only 930... Marina, Rob, Betsy and myself ended up spending another hour and a half shooting pool and making as many sexual innuendos as possible. Absolutely fantastic. Marina has now earned the nickname "Handy", as in "Come in handy" and Betsy is either "Hammer" (something about hitting it hard and tight) or "OTG" as in Over the Table (the G is her last name). Regardless of the actual intents of the flirting, it was a good time and much more relaxed and enjoyable than my Tuesday league. Moving right along... Work is going amazingly well, I'm a rising star for sure. I basically have my hands in every aspect of the business at this point, and I love it. I'm in line for a "considerable raise" this month, or around then, which is perfect. Looking like a new car in another 8 months or so, maybe longer if I can nurse the current one longer than that. Probably another year or two before I go for the condo gig, but that's not far off either. I've been thinking that a 3-bedroom, as long as it isn't a huge jump in price from a 2-bedroom, is the way to go. I figure I'll use one room for a spare bed and another for a pool room, we'll see. Female wise, who the hell knows. I think I'm back to my old situation again, which I'm starting to realize isn't too bad as long as I pay more attention. I guess I just need to be blown away before I really bother having a girlfriend again... who the hell knows. In the meantime, I'll see what's out there ya know? I don't even know if this was much of an update, I really need to get my facts together... I really need to tell a drunk story too, so maybe this weekend I'll have a good one... if not, this past weekend has 2 gems that might end up arriving on here. Oh, and if you haven't seen new pics, checkout my myspace... They call me Jesus now, fantastic.

1 blow job | blow me.

Subject: It's a delicate balance... Time: 12:09 pm. Mood: Enlightened. Music: Dilated Peoples ft. Kanye West - This Way.

For a while I blamed myself for everything that went on. I was set on thinking that my, generally reasonable, expectations were at fault when they weren't met. And while, on a basic level, this is true, I let myself forget the basic tenet that these are the kinds of expectations that everyone has of their friends and others. The shortcomings of others are not necessarily caused by anyone but themselves, and I had taken on the responsibility for no good reason. In more recent times, I find it harder and harder to simply let things go like I used to. Maybe that's not the best explanation... I let them go, because there isn't much else to do... I do, however, notice that occasionally they pop back around, tapping me on the shoulder and reminding me they were right behind me all along. It reminds me of the old Seinfeld episode, The Serenity Now. If you're a fan of Seinfeld, you'll recall it, but if not, here's a quick synapse: George's father yells "Serenity now!" anytime he gets stressed, Jerry lets out his emotions by showing his current GF, Patty, that he can get angry and suddenly finds himself emotional over everything. They later find out that an old friend from the neighborhood (Lloyd Braun) ended up in a mental hospital when he tried the "Serenity now" tapes... "Serenity now, Insanity later." as he says. You can find the episode script here Anyway, that put me a bit off track... Point being, I've incorporated too much of all that into my life... I feel like I started with the whole serenity now thing, minus the actual saying, but at the same time, let myself care too much about things that are unnecessary. I guess what it all boils down to, this whole self-discovery thing, is that I need to stop dealing in such absolutes. To quote a part of John Mayer's blog (yeah, never thought I'd see that sentence in here either) "Sometimes you have to experiment with an updated design for yourself before you realize the original design never stopped working for you." There are a lot of things that I'm glad I changed, but I also think there are a lot I don't need to keep at bay. I still don't see myself out as often as before, but I think it's time to "get back on the horse". Man, I think I make my life more confusing by the day, but I guess it keeps things interesting :D Oh, and I'm building a new computer... The old "patch job" is finally being replaced... should have the parts by end of the week or beginning of next. Maybe this will all result in more posts, but don't count on it lol

blow me.

Time: 11:14 am. Mood: content.

I'm sitting in my office, eating animal crackers (the real ones, that come in the little box with the animals in cages on it) and listening to WFAN Sports Radio 660, trying to hear through the congestion in my head. Things have changed so much in the past 3 months or so, much more than I could ever have thought, actually. I've completely altered my lifestyle in just about every possible capacity. Gone are the countless nights a week out drinking, the fast food, the random women and even sweets. I spend most time at home or at the gym, going through the motions. I got bored of what became the "weekend ritual" of Mahoney's or Noah's or any of the other random bars in the area. I got tired of the same people, in the same places, doing the same things. It had gotten to the point that I would go out and within a half-hour I would find myself thinking "I could be at home, relaxing, right now..." and then leaving shortly thereafter. This isn't to say that I don't go out on occasion, it's just not a weekly thing. I save my going out time for when my friends are home visiting for whatever reason, or perhaps a random trip to NYC. I guess I just wanted to move past that phase of things, because I don't see myself being that kinda person in years to come. I much prefer to relax at home, watch a movie, play a video game or 2, read a book... just about anything, actually. I'm not really sure what brought about all the change, but I know that it's what I needed. I had my "time in the sun", I enjoyed every minute of it too. I'm now well aware of my limitations, or lack thereof, and maybe that's all I was looking for to begin with. So now, I've come to a point where I'm at peace with who I was, who I am and where I see myself in the coming years. I've somewhat retreated from a good number of folks in my life, for different reasons. A lot of people I don't see because I don't go out anymore, and during the week I'm at the gym, so our lives just don't sync anymore. Others, I've just ceased putting the effort into, for various reasons. I guess I've lost my patience for some folks, and often for people in general... I still manage to see a few people on a pretty regular basis, and there are some that I haven't seen who I really need to see. I actually need to see Julia sometime this week, as it's been way too long. Hopefully once I feel better, she'll be around one night... Maybe after my Spin class. Oh, and my hair is long again... much longer than I've ever had it... I don't think I've cut it in over 7 months or so... I promised Dizz that I'd get it cut/styled before her wedding this summer, so I'll have to do something at that point. I can't manage to focus anymore, because I've got a pounding headache behind my left eye and in the back of my head... so I guess that's that.

8 blow jobs | blow me.

Subject: I'm alive. Time: 12:14 pm.

Someone buy me this bike: You can find the info here That's all I want for the new year. End of story.

2 blow jobs | blow me.

Subject: The Return? We shall see... Time: 10:40 am. Mood: satisfied. Music: Jermaine Stewart - We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off.

Sitting at work, entering information into Quickbooks and listening to the Scrubs soundtrack and for some reason I get the urge to write in here. It's been a long time since I've had the urge to write anything in my public journal (what, did you honestly think this was my only outlet? Let's be serious here, people.). At this, the outset of my entry, I have no specific words to put together... My thoughts are so jumbled and without form that I feel like I oculd stare outside for hours on end without anything becoming concete. Things have changed quite a bit since the last time I was an active participant around here, and I'm still sifting through the changes as if they were the bargain bin, pulling out the things I want to keep, dropping the undesirables back into the cardboard box labeled "Clearance Sale". Leave it to me to spend my unused mental energy to be introspective. As of late I've been putting things back on track, aiming for the destination I think will be my future. I've almost completed payments on any and all debt I've incurred; I'm slowly building up my savings again, with the intent of making investments in the coming years. Actually, sitting here, I don't think I can get this out the way I want to at the moment. Perhaps another time, LJ Land. Catch ya later, LazyWeb.

4 blow jobs | blow me.

Subject: Great video haha Time: 10:30 am. Mood: amused.

http://eepybird.com/dcm1.html Diet Coke and Mentos are apparently quite a fun combination ^_^

blow me.

the livejournal of senor smitten. View: User Info. View: Friends. View: Calendar. View: Website (Obligatory Myspace profile link). View: Memories. You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.