Current mood:

content

I'm sitting in my office, eating animal crackers (the real ones, that come in the little box with the animals in cages on it) and listening to WFAN Sports Radio 660, trying to hear through the congestion in my head.

Things have changed so much in the past 3 months or so, much more than I could ever have thought, actually. I've completely altered my lifestyle in just about every possible capacity. Gone are the countless nights a week out drinking, the fast food, the random women and even sweets. I spend most time at home or at the gym, going through the motions.

I got bored of what became the "weekend ritual" of Mahoney's or Noah's or any of the other random bars in the area. I got tired of the same people, in the same places, doing the same things. It had gotten to the point that I would go out and within a half-hour I would find myself thinking "I could be at home, relaxing, right now..." and then leaving shortly thereafter. This isn't to say that I don't go out on occasion, it's just not a weekly thing. I save my going out time for when my friends are home visiting for whatever reason, or perhaps a random trip to NYC. I guess I just wanted to move past that phase of things, because I don't see myself being that kinda person in years to come. I much prefer to relax at home, watch a movie, play a video game or 2, read a book... just about anything, actually.

I'm not really sure what brought about all the change, but I know that it's what I needed. I had my "time in the sun", I enjoyed every minute of it too. I'm now well aware of my limitations, or lack thereof, and maybe that's all I was looking for to begin with. So now, I've come to a point where I'm at peace with who I was, who I am and where I see myself in the coming years.

I've somewhat retreated from a good number of folks in my life, for different reasons. A lot of people I don't see because I don't go out anymore, and during the week I'm at the gym, so our lives just don't sync anymore. Others, I've just ceased putting the effort into, for various reasons. I guess I've lost my patience for some folks, and often for people in general... I still manage to see a few people on a pretty regular basis, and there are some that I haven't seen who I really need to see. I actually need to see Julia sometime this week, as it's been way too long. Hopefully once I feel better, she'll be around one night... Maybe after my Spin class.

Oh, and my hair is long again... much longer than I've ever had it... I don't think I've cut it in over 7 months or so... I promised Dizz that I'd get it cut/styled before her wedding this summer, so I'll have to do something at that point.

I can't manage to focus anymore, because I've got a pounding headache behind my left eye and in the back of my head... so I guess that's that.